Is Their a Heaven?



Went to my first high school football game now that i'm a senior. it was pouring rain but fun anyways. Senior year is not all dancing and singing like troy bolten wants us to believe. I t is tons of sweat tears and maybe even blood. oh well this is my deep inside story of being a senior who is still a nobody.....god that is a little pathtic is that spelled right see what public school does to you is it bad that im already getting senioritis. can't wait for HOMECOMING


I don't know what to do

Teen killed in rollover crash ID’d

The Allen County coroner has identified an 18-year-old who died Wednesday night after he lost control of his speeding pickup truck, rolling it several times in southeast Allen County.
Matthew J. Miller of Decatur was not wearing a safety restraint device and died of blunt force trauma, according to a written statement from the coroner, Dr. E. Jon Brandenberger.
He ruled the death was an accident, the 22nd traffic fatality for Fort Wayne and Allen County in 2009.
The truck was going west on Hoagland Road when Miller lost control just west of Whittern Road about 9:30 p.m., Allen County police Lt. Tim Schulz said for an earlier story.
Miller went off the road for about an eighth of a mile and then drove across a ditch, causing the truck to roll several times. It came to a rest on the driver's side, Schulz said.
Miller died at the scene. Police said Wednesday they believe speed was a factor in the crash.
Sandra Lee, who lives at Hoagland and Whittern roads, said she heard a "god-awful noise" and came outside to see the truck make its final roll. She called 911 and then ran down the road to find the driver inside the truck.
Lee said teenagers frequently speed on the road, sometimes driving in excess of 100 mph.
The crash remains under investigation by the sheriff's department, coroners, office and the FACT Team.

What do I say to my friend this was her boyfriend.He was nice and a good person the sad thing is he just graduated this year.

crying for her friend


soon to be the best Mommy in the World

No Not Me........................My friend is having a baby girl I can't wait to see a baby that looks like Tia and Micheal. It will look so beauitful.I just wished it happened later on in her life she's only 14 and he's going on 16 so they are way to young but I'm excited for them both. This kid is going to have the best mommy in the world. I'm going to help in anyway I can for both of them. They are going to be great parents and I will beat his ass if he hurts her in anyway,Michael Don't fuck this up.I don't care if your my cousin I will hurt you.

Talk Shit about her I'll Kill your Sorry Ass


More Than Friends Maybe? I Don't Know He Wants To Hook Me Up With Someone

So I was with my sister all day yesterday. you know what's funny the guy I like wants to hook me up with somone. Yeah just my luck right. God I hate my LIFE. I wish I could tell him I LIKE YOU MORE THEN A FRIEND.sometimes i feel as if the whole world is against me.God if your real make it so the friend he wants to hook me up with is HIM!?!

More Than Friends

[Yasmeen]I was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with you...[Lil Crazed]Story begins with only two friendsI was playing the game already known as a neusenceBut truth isThings tend to change within timeSo now I think it`s time for me to say what`s on my mindSee the sparkle in your eyes makes it hard to denyThat I can see a star without looking in the skyLaying next to you gets me twisted and tangledListening to your breathing is like I`m hearing whispers from an angelEasing all my pain and taking away all the stressEven without guide then my life is a sure a mere blessSo I need to tell you now before the story endsI was thinking maybe we should be a little more than friends[Yasmeen]I was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with youI was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with you[Lil Crazed]I remember when we conversated on the phone late at nightGiggle, laugh, while we tickled eachother in play fightsBut it`s strange, I rearranged the game within the same nightGo out and find me a girl to maintain my game tightBut you know the sayingAin`t no game without pain, right?Cuz we had a past, and played the blame gamePlaying nightsLove has a cost, and through that I think I played the priceBut things change, including players and the way of lifeI know this when I was dimYou kept my flame brightAnd I felt ashamed cuz the way my feelings remained outta sightI held back, cuz I was catching a case of stage frightBut now I made some way for a relationship to take flightI was just thinking that[Yasmeen]I was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with youI was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with you[Lil Crazed - Faded Out In Background]I was just thinking thatWe should be a little more than friends girlYou know, it`s time I let you know what I feel (Uh huh)And I need to know what you feelDo you feel the same way?Heh, and uh, sometimes the heart speaks with invisible words to the eye (Yeah)So uh, lemme know, cuz I can`t see it (Okay)But I know your heart knows it, that`s right[Lil Crazed]My eyes remain blurry but my heart has seen the truthAnd my mind is telling me girl I only wanna be with youTo complete my life, there`s only one thing left for me to doIs ask you, would you be my girl[Yasmeen]I was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with youI was just thinking thatMaybe we should be a little more than friendsCuz I like the way we kick it and I don`t want this night to ever endSaid I only wanna be with youLemme know, you gotta lemme knowLemme know, you gotta lemme know...



So last night after being with Olivia.I had a dream that I met this guy.this guy ended up being this vampire.His name was Tristan which is close to Austin I was totally falling in love with a vampire. This vamp didn't even love me back.So I took a safty pin and cut my neck. he smelled the blood and even if he didn't love me he just kill me so he turned me. The thought that went in mind was that i fooled a vampire into turning me so i can be with him forever.

i don't have any idea what this dream means so don't ask me. the thing is i'm not cunning or anything like that.

Forever sounds Nice



I Can't Hate Them

They are things that Teens see that you think we don't like when you were yelling at my mom and mouse went over to get your cousin Bobby and Luke to break it up.I see when you guys fight. I saw when you fought about that slut Mindy I hate her more then I hate anyone due to the fact she slept with my dad. I see how sad you guys are but you won't get a divorce I see this stuff you guys just don't know that i see it. I saw the time you pushed my mother. sometimes I cut myself so the pain goes away but no one knows that I do this so I'm trusting you guys who read this. Help me to get through this. they fight all the time and the sad thing is I'm getting used to the yelling and throwing of items.

A Child Should Never Have To Feel As If Their In A War Zone

I Can't Hate Them



I love him so much I just need the courage to tell him. But I can't do that i don't want to ruin our friendship. maybe babysitting tonight.other then that I'm waiting for school to start. I need to party hard before it does though. you know do a keg stand and take a couple of shots DON JULIO baby


Past Curfew hang time & <3 13 signs your falling in love<3

So tonight I chilled with my best friends in the whole world Man I love these girls. my bestie just needs to remember that he's not worth the tears and that a really good guy wants her. Daniel is just not worth the trouble. we went to talk to Alec before we start walking around and then somehow we ended up in front of her ex's house were we chilled with him. this guy cracks me u. curfew in my city is 11:00 on weekday so we saw a lot of cops driving past us. we finally continue walking home around midnight. damn and when i finally arrived home at 1:00 in the morning mom and dad is fast asleep. Man i love being a teenager.

13 signs your falling in love can't stay mad at him for more then a minute or actually have to try hard to stay mad'll read his/her ims over and over again'll walk really really slow while your with him/her'll feel shy whenever your with him/her

9.when thinking about him/her your heart will beat faster and faster listening to his/her voice you'll smile for no reason

7.while looking at him/her you can't see the other people around you you can only see that person'll start listening to slow songs

5.he/she becomes all you think about'll get high just by their smell'll realize that your always smiling to yourself when you think of them'll do anything for him/her

1.while reading this there was ONE PERSON on your mind the WHOLE TIME



So Hot

I saw the guy i like he has his lip pierced now and man all i was thinking was that i really want to suck on his lip ring. can you imagine doing that to that guy you liked for 5 years Delicious is all I'm saying i would want to do other thing to it as well but that is not for your eyes.

on a different note I want to tell you that God loves you and he you to party up there in heaven when you leave this world say say he's your homeboy
don't you want to just suck on it so fucking hot right but he's mine y'all stay away

Peace Out


Sad Poems I've Written

Can't Take It Back
she slides the straps down her shoulders as he watches on with a satisfied look upon his face
across town a boy looks at his ceiling to become her face once again thinking that the other guy won he shakes his head and wished he had told her how he felt she removes her dress and let it fall to the ground as she kisses the guy who has a winning grin he thinks that He has won she's in his bed she looks out the window as she let him take all of her an hour later she was no longer wanted he got what he was after he sent her away she breaks down on the way to home she gave away her prize to someone who doesn't care let alone loves her she was just a pawn in his game
she already wants to take it back even though she knows she can't

Only Friends

did you realize?every time i see you my heart skips a beat did you know?your smile can brighten my gloomiest day did you want me?to be this way just the way we are did you ever think?when i say love ya it's because i do how could you?not know how i felt when you see me look at you did you figure?i get jealous when i have to hear about her will i ever?come out and say i like you more than a friend I won't tell you though how can i tell you?that i don't want to be your friend
we could be so much more

Broken Promises

"i want to marry you"he told me"we'll be together forever"he promised "i want all of you"he whispered I kissed him and nodded I was told we'll be together so i gave in and let him we made love an it was beautiful he held me in his arms until we woke up he kissed my forehead and got in his car he drove off that afternoon his dad knocked"I've got some bad news"he cried"He has been in a accident"before i can even ask "is he okay?"he said "he died"i fell to the ground I screamed at the heavens"why did you have to take him?"

Forever Goodbye

you weren't there I searched for you but you never showed why do you leave me to deal with this on my own when i needed you more than ever I gave my heart and you left me all alone I was crying begging for you to come back but you never did I can't explain why i can't leave it's like you bring out the real me I've tried to let you go but I'm selfish I will not be without you I can't be without you please realize that I Love You more then i love myself please, please don't say goodbye
because goodbye means forever

Skinny Dipping Dare

So last night around 11:30 my sister comes over and says "hey do you want to babysit for 2 hours" I don't have a life so i said sure why not. I registered for High school this morning I am officially a senior. I can't wait my classes rock well except for digi comm. what the fuck is digi comm anyway.tonight I'm seeing the guy of my dreams. so I'm really happy. Has anyone ever felt totally alone when your in a crowded room that's the feeling i got this morning. I'm talking to my friend Cassie. I'm doing much better today then I was yesterday. I'm glad I don't have the courage to press down. I'm going to be a SENIOR FINALLY!!!!I've been waiting 12 years for this to happen. I want to go skinny dipping at this moment with a couple of guys. Hell yeah does that sound fun or what!?!

Bye for now



They Are NOT You

So there's this guy I like and he is my friend so I really don't want to tell him because it might cause our friendship to disappear. but his name is Austin and he is the guy that makes me smile everyday. I can't tell anyone except my best frien dwho always says "you like him are you sure"
I don't know what to do anymore this whole friend thing is just ruining my life I could love this guy but I won't tell him. SHOULD I SMILE CAUSE HE'S MY FRIEND OR CRY CAUSE I KNOW THAT'S ALL WE'LL EVER BE



Friend till the end yeah right

I'm I the only one who ever felt like I need the courage to press down. and when I say press down I mean with a knife to my wrist. These are the thoughts running through my head when my friend left me last night. when she knows very well that I am still afraid to walk so far alone at night especially after my incident. what kind of friend leaves you alone after you were harassed by two drunken guys. so when I finially got home last night i went into my shower and cried so no one can tell. Life Sucks then you DIE